end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
