About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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