Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
