Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If that was your dad, he is hot
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
