And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
