Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
