this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
