Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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