My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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