she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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