I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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