Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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