Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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