So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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