I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
