Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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