Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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