Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
