just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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