Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize