I need help removing her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
