he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
