i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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