They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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