my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
