he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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