Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
