6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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