Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
