Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
