yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
