Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
