it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
