just tell him i said nine months
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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