we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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