The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
