i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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