trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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