can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize