I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize