I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He felt like a one man threesome
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize