I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
