i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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