Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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