Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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