I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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