You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize