Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
