i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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