I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do vagina's smell?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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