her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
