I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
