just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
