I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
