Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize