I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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