I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize