Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
