THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
