somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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