The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
